N. Renee Brown

Part-time Author, Full-time Book Junkie

Mom’s “Holy Hot Fudge, Batman!”

Some times you come across something that makes everything else pale in comparison…sometimes, the world is a brighter place for having had something in it…

For me, that is my mom’s hot fudge.

The entire family loves it. The grandkids have been known to call grandma and ask for a jar of their very on to take home (or be mailed). As a matter of fact, when my wife and I get a shipment of this precious stuff my mother has to send 2 jars and LABEL each one so we don’t fight over it. And that, dear friends, is not a single spoonful of an over exaggeration.

So, here is how you bring some of this loveliness into your own home for 4th of July (or any other time you’re having ice cream).

Holy Hot Fudge

1 stick butter
1/4th cup brown sugar
pinch of salt
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 bag of dark chocolate chips
1 TBL of vanilla extract
(here’s the secret to this amazing recipe!)
1/4 cup creamed rum (or any cream liquor really)
1/4 cup Kahlua (or any coffee flavored liquor)

Melt the butter in a medium saucepan over medium-low heat. Add the brown sugar. Then grab a stool and sit in front of the stove for a while…play on your phone if you want, but be sure to stir more often than not. When the brown sugar is melted (and yeah, it takes a while — and momma says DON’T RUSH IT! And if she says that, she means it.)
Once the sugar is melted add the pinch of salt and the sweetened condensed milk. Stir until well combined.
Add the bag of chocolate chips and mix until they are melted. (I took it off the heat here, but if you want to cook out some of the booziness leave that sucker on the heat.)
Mix in the vanilla and liquor, stirring until well incorporated and some of the alcohol has cooked off (it won’t take long).
Eat directly from the pan. Or if you can force yourself, put some over ice cream. Don’t share the pan with anyone you don’t like! EVER!

Also, yeah, you can put this in a jar and stick it in the fridge…I’m sure it keeps a good long while with all the booze in it, but I’m sure I wouldn’t know, because most of it is gone in a few days or less.

ENJOY!

A Little Taste: Grandma Howard’s Cure-All Cinnamon Rolls

Here is the recipe I was talking about in my previous post:

recipe

The actual hand-written recipe in all its glory. And also the dough.

It says:

They cure any illness: mumps, cramps, head colds, flu, earache.  We should know because Mom (her mom, my grandma) fixed these when we were sick. Serve with hot tea, per Aunt Jan (my aunt, her sister).

So here it is, in all its glory (and I added bits to further explain what she means in certain places).

IMG_4343

OMG, don’t they look amazing? Even the one peeking up in the back isn’t horrible! (These have pecans on them, btw.)

Grandma Howard’s World Famous Cinnamon Rolls

2 cups milk

1 stick of butter or margarine

1 cup of sugar

1 teaspoon salt

Put 2 cups in a pan on medium [I’m assuming milk – nrb] heat then add: butter, sugar and salt.  When the butter has almost melted remove pan from heat.  Set aside to cool, about 10 minutes.  [It is going to take longer than 10 minutes…I had to move it to a bowl and put it in the fridge about 7 minutes. – nrb]

Put 2 packages of yeast [A package has about 2 and 1/4 teaspoons of yeast in it – nrb] in 1/4 c. water [I made it warm water…and stirred it and then stopped, I’ll get clarification later. – nrb]

[OH, I’d also pause here…you are waiting for the yeast to activate and the milk to COOL DAMNIT! – nrb]

Beat 3 eggs in mixer and combine with cooled liquid [and the yeast, I’m assuming. – nrb].  Then add 6 to 8 cups of flour [At cup 4, don’t worry, it will come together.  At cup 5, unless you have a stand mixer, put the mixer aside!  Trust me, or it will start to crawl up your arm, the dough, not the mixer. I used a spoon, it was fine.  By cup 7, I had to switch to hands. – nrb]

Move the dough to an oiled bowl and turn to coat with oil.  Cover with a warm damp cloth until bulk doubles, about 1 hour.

IMG_4335

The dough…she LIVES!!

From here you can make these in to regular dinner rolls or you can make cinnamon rolls.

For cinnamon rolls, take half the dough [she never tells me what to do with the other half, I just made more cinnamon rolls, HA! – nrb]  and roll it into a rectangle shape about 10×14 or there about [I think mine was bigger…much bigger. – nrb].

Yes, that is a wine bottle in the background...I don't have a rolling pin.

Yes, that is a wine bottle in the background…I don’t have a rolling pin.

Brush with melted butter 1/4 to 1/2 cup and sprinkle with one half of following: 1 and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon to 1/2 cup sugar, mixed well.

Grandma Howard always cut her cinnamon rolls with a string.  I use dental floss.

Put in a 13×9 pan [I oiled mine with cooking spray. – nrb].

Bake at 350, 15 or 20 min.

Serve with honey butter or icing [I gotta get her icing recipe!!! – nrb].  Makes a big batch, cut in half for a smaller batch.

Enjoy we love both of you.

Mom and Dad

IMG_4341

My siblings and I love ours a little under done…so these are for me. Trust me, the sides are a lovely golden brown color.

Go home mom, you’re drunk.

Okay, so my mom sent me some recipes…This is so wonderful and awesome, because in my house growing up the kitchen was filled with love.  It was THE place to be, and my mom encouraged me to experiment (I even have the old cookbook that I used to flip through when I was a kid, and later used to get my feet wet with cooking).

BUT my mom is blessed two-fold being both a born cook and a born baker…I am not.  While we both can eyeball ingredients and adjust on the fly…and we can both SMELL when something is done…she can FEEL when dough is ready.  I can’t.

I’ve always been too impatient for yeast based breads and cakes.  I’m a “what IS cool?”, “what IS lukewarm?” kinda gal, and I always err on the side of “OH GET ON WITH IT ALREADY” rather than making sure my yeast is safe and warm (not hot and dead or cold and asleep).

So this morning, CHRISTMAS MORNING, I decide to make my grandmother’s cinnamon rolls…a recipe passed down from my mom.  I used to make it with her, and she let me shape the dough remainders into little men and flowers and such, and she let me help sprinkle on the cinnamon and sugar.

It looked so easy.

I was mistaken.

Like I said, mom is a natural born baker…so when she says things like, “put 2 packages of yeast in 1/4 cup of water”  I start hyperventilating.  I don’t HAVE packages, I have a jar of yeast!  HOT WATER?  COLD WATER?  LUKEWARM???  Do I stir in the yeast?  Do I just let it sit?  BAH!!!!!

Then it gets better, she tells me to stir in the milk mixture that has cooled (okay, cool-ish, I just couldn’t wait any more) in with the eggs…and add flour (6 to 8 cups?  That is like 2 cups of failure waiting for me right there!) but never once mentions the yeast again!

WHA?!  IS THE YEAST FOR AMBIANCE?!?!

Thankfully, the dough came together at cup number 7, after it nearly took out my mixer by crawling UP the beaters and almost getting into the machinery at cup 5.  Now it is perched on top of my stove waiting for me to roll it out into a sheet and sprinkle it with cinnamon and sugar.

Wish me luck!

Happy Holidays!

I thought I would share my favorite short Christmas cartoon.  It was created in 1936, and it is adorable!  It puts me in mind of my many steampunk friends.  Enjoy!

Christmas Eve fun…

I love how this one says “Santy”, instead of Santa…it’s very Mid-Western and reminds me of my grandparents. 😀

Also, brushing reindeer teeth! And drilling rocking horse butts! lol  This one gets better when you’ve got an adult (aka dirty) mind.

Dog Holiday Fun!

This is for my pair of very bad dogs!  The “ear wave” is the very best part.

Surprise Holiday Fun!

Here’s “Santa’s Surprise” from 1947:

Snow holiday fun!

I love this one, and I sorta feel this way this year…all the sudden we went from the 60’s to wind chill!  Time to go to fur storage, and that is SNOW FOOLIN (1949)!

Holiday fun…depressing fun?

I was thinking about all those ancient cartoons that I used to see all the time when I was a kid around this time of year…they don’t show up much anymore, but I thought I’d spend this week highlighting them!

I remember seeing “The Little Match Girl” and being traumatized by it.  To this day, it gets to me.  Let me share the trauma!

Thinking thanksgiving…

Why do I have to be thankful?
I don’t wanna.

I don’t want to think of all the things in my life I should be thankful for, from my wife (and the fact that I can have a wife), to my dogs, to my family and friends, to my job, to my safety and health…

I don’t wanna spend all day listing off how blessed I am. It’ll take too much time and I need to get to enjoying it.

Someone said to me the other day: I have so much to live for, it sort of makes me scared.

I know exactly how that feels. There was a time when I didn’t care much what happened to me, I was a little self-destructive and a little short-sighted. I did wild things and had (fleeting) good times. It gave me stories to tell now, cautionary tales of a sort.

The minute I found a family to love, that all changed…I went from not caring, to being terrified. I had too much worth living for, and suddenly death was very real and present. I still live with that fear, it has changed over the years, but it is still there and still a driving force.

But hey, it lets me be thankful. 🙂