We all have desires–little hidden gems of want in our hearts.
We ALL have them.
We can call them “To Do” lists, bucket lists, or (my favorite) “If I won the lottery…” lists. Things we would do if we could, but that we often feel are beyond our means or ability.
It does not change that they are based in desire, in a place of emotion…and that emotion is what makes them so powerful for us.
Well, this morning, I woke up with desire and emotion…a mix of things that went from determined to fearful to hopeful…and a goal.
This morning I was going to participate in a 5K.
I was sure I was going to be last. I was sure I was going to fall over thanks to heart attack or weak ankles or just loss of will. I was sure that the other runners were going to laugh at me. I was sure I was going to be terrible.
BUT I was sure I was going to do it.
Why? Because I never thought I could. I never thought I would be able to walk 3 miles back when I lived in Missouri about 10 years ago and had to take A BREAK walking from the parking garage to my office, because my back hurt so bad and I was so out of breath. The parking garage was about 3 blocks from my office.
And I was going to try my damnest to make it to the finish line before an hour was up!
And guess what…I did.
I jogged/walked 5K in 51 minutes and 30 seconds.
I beat the 2 girls I chased the entire way, the ones that weren’t sweating and stopped to fix their hair (and no, I didn’t catch them then, I caught them at the finish line!!!)…I beat the woman I started the race with, who was with me the whole time…I beat women that looked in better shape than me, younger than me…and yes, I was beat by a LOT of people, almost the entire 450+ that signed up that day. BUT it didn’t matter. I had a desire.
And when my desire flagged, and I called my wife on the phone, it was the reminder from her that this was something amazing that kept me going. And when I was tired and so close and yet so far away from the finish line and every person on the sidelines, every volunteer, every photographer, every competitor that finished before me and doubled back cheered for me like I was in first place…I was reminded that I had a desire to prove I could do it.
And I did…I finished that race, and I did it under my secret goal time.
I did it.