(This is blog bite lite today. Why? Because I think I’ve said it. I think this blog entry gets what I’m trying to say without being melodramatic or maudlin. So, you’ll just have to eat light today…sorry, but you can have an apple later.)
So it’s taken a little bit, but I think I’m coming back around to writing…and I’ll tell you what did it. The fear of not doing it.
Yup, the only thing that kept swimming around in my head was the idea that my stories would never be told if I didn’t tell them. They would stay forever half developed, choppy half-hinged chapters if I didn’t sit down and make it right/write.
I don’t want Truth and Harmony and Honey to die on the vine. I don’t want the worlds I’ve created…where gods fear nothing and children have the power and gender is as fluid as wine…to disappear, stillborn into the void.
I’ve got things to say and I’ve got my own unique way of saying it! I want people to hear and see and experience. I want them to draw a deep breath after reading a chapter only to dive right back in for the next morsel I’ve served up.
Yes, I do want to write. No matter how hard or thankless. No matter how much I doubt what I am doing or hate what I am producing…
I want my words to be heard, if only by you…or the editors rejecting them…but still, heard by someone other than myself in the lonely hours in front of my computer.
So yeah, I’m back on the wagon. I’m putting pen to paper/fingers to keys. I’m looking up and forward and hoping to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Wish me luck?
Find your peace, accept your burden, and live it.